Thursday, June 19, 2014

Who's the Bully?

I was watching the Today Show this week and one day they had on a woman named Victoria Erickson.  Victoria had seen a photo of herself and a friend that someone posted on Facebook.  At first she thought she looked so happy and she WAS "so happy" as she had just reunited with her best friend after being apart for their freshman year of college.  Then she started analyzing the photo.  This is something I too, do quite often when I see a photo of myself.  She started to focus only on the cellulite in her legs.  She began obsessing and rather quickly the joyous memory of spending the day with her friend turned into self loathing.  Savannah Guthrie told Victoria that she didn't even notice the cellulite in the photo and just thought it was a great picture of two friends.  This struck a cord with me.  Sometimes we have a poor self image of our bodies not because other people are pointing out our flaws but because we point out our own flaws.  I realize now that I am my own bully.  I tear myself down worse than anyone else ever could.  I look at every spot of cellulite, every blemish, any ounce of fat and hold a magnifying glass to it.  I torture myself.

There is a piece in In My Body that is about two best friends.  It's about how through the other persons eyes, you are beautiful and actually see you for who you are.  Your friends don't see the worst things about you.  They see the best things about you.  Your true friends, that is.  My friend's opinion of me is much more positive than my own.

Victoria decided she needed to shake this unhealthy attitude of hating what she saw in herself.  She began to realize that she had the power to change her perspective.  She writes, "That's right. I decided that I love this honest and flawed picture so much so that I am going to embrace it, celebrate it and yes, share it. Because I decided I would fight my demon and embody it because I didn't -- and don't -- have the time or energy to let it wear and tear me down anymore. Because it's not important. And more so, because I hope when you look at yourself, whether in reflection or spirit, you do the same.  Because we're better than that."

So I am going to try to not be so hard on myself.   I am going to try for once to see myself how my best friend sees me.  I think you should try too!  Let's give ourselves a break from our inner critic for once!

Read Victoria's article published by The Huffington Post...

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